“How can tension be a resource?”, you might ask.
“Tension is uncomfortable”, you might say.
And you might say: “”I’ve learned to relieve tension. I do sports, I socialize, I binge watch movies, I work. The evening glass of wine, beer or whisky. And good food! A nice lavish dinner helps too, and oh …”
Here I might stop you.
And I might ask you – when do you tense up?
We tense up when things are not as we want them to be. When our expectations are not met.
Basically we tense up when we don’t experience what we think we’re entitled to experience. And we think we’re entitled to quite a lot: happiness, love, safety, success, appreciation, everlasting youth, the perfect life.
We go quite some length to try to feel the feeling we think we’re entitled to feel – and abandon the feeling we’re actually experiencing.
How? We try to change
- Our body – through substances like foods, supplements, drugs; through sports; through surgery
- Our mind – through movies, music, drugs, believe systems (and of course body and mind are intertwined)
- Our environment – through a new job, a new house, a new trophy partner.
After a wave of relief we notice – the tension is back. We start all over again.
We abandon the actual experience before we even know how and what it is.
We invest quite a lot of energy to avoid that what is actually here – but just happens to not match our made-up expectations.
This is how we waste a powerful resource for our growth.
When do you tense up?
What do you do then? How do you relieve tension? What’s your routine in not using this powerful resource?
If you stayed with the tension without acting, without doing anything against or with it, if you explored the tension – all its facets, its origin, if you tried to get to know it – what would you find?