Have a conflict and feel stuck? Read on.
You know my motto: No right. No wrong. Simply growth.
Interested in to find out how being in a conflict helps you grow? Ahead of you is a 7-minute read that will spark your growth, if you let it.
When we feel stuck in a conflict, we usually think we have tried different things to solve it. Yet nothing seems to work.
What most of the time though happens, is that what we try is our conflict solving ‚routine‘, our favorite conflict behavior. Let’s take a look and identify these behaviors that most likely you are unaware of.
What’s your favorite conflict behavior (This model is based on Virginia Satir’s work)? Are you:
Each behavior is learned. And while these often don’t work, they are the best answers we could find.
Thus, we have learned that each behavior is based on – mostly – subconscious fear:
Each dysfunctional behavior needs a dysfunctional counterpart. As soon as one party leaves their learned, fear based behavior, the other(s) can do so too.
It might sound illogical – but conflict is an opportunity to grow. How?
SO, WHAT ARE THE “RULES” THAT YOU NEED TO CHANGE?
This is how you can start your growth now:
Now that you have the tools to recognize why you may experience the feeling of ‘stuckness in a conflict,’ and the tips to work on these challenges, I invite you to practice them. Be thorough with yourself!
And you are welcome to write me back and let me know what breakthroughs happened for you from that exercise.
Enjoy the practice, and “growing from conflict”!
Want to grow more? Check out my blog on life-work ‘balance’.